Modesty Dressing For Women
- Serena Koh
- Feb 21
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 14

I chanced upon a video by a YouTuber, Taylor Alesia, about why women should dress modestly.
I felt inspired to write a piece about this as this thought had been brewing in my mind for years, but I know many women might slam me for this.
Heck. My much younger self may slam myself for even talking about this. How I choose to dress is my prerogative!
That’s why when I watched Taylor’s video and looked through her past, I completely get it.
Speaking for myself, I grew up with a low self-esteem. Being an introvert didn’t help.
As I moved into my young adult years, I discovered that I could get a little attention if I showed off more skin or my curves.
As I grew bolder, I wouldn’t hesitate to flaunt whatever ‘assets’ I had just to get noticed.
If I got the attention of other women, I’d even take it as a compliment. I’d assume that these women were envious of my attractiveness.
I remember my go-to girl-power statement back in the day for dressing in a seductive manner was, "I'm proud of my body. So I'll flaunt it however way I like.".
Then was I saying that the women who choose not to show off their bodies in this manner are not proud of their bodies, and have nothing to flaunt?
It wasn’t until I started running my own business that I realised how my dressing could pose as a distraction, even for other women.
I remembered attending a business mixer years ago when I was talking to a young and beautiful woman. As much as I was trying to understand what her profession entailed, I found myself very distracted by her incredibly plunging neckline!
I was seriously doubting my own sexual orientation during that conversation.
What’s wrong with me?! I thought. Why can’t I concentrate on what she’s saying?
Ok, maybe it’s just me.
I’ve also observed that whenever I’m wearing a top that had a plunging neckline when I was having a meeting with a male client, they tend to look distracted as well. I felt like whatever I was saying to them didn’t quite get through.
I felt a little insulted. Like they weren’t taking me seriously.
I finally made up my mind to dress modestly and assured myself that I am more than my physical appeal.
How It All Started
When the contraceptive pill was made available to women in the 1960s, it was like women had been ‘liberated’.
Casual sex became rampant because women don’t have to bear the consequences of unwanted pregnancies. But were women truly liberated, or was it because we thought we could behave like men?
So to promote this newfound ‘freedom’, women started to dress more seductively.
People started having more sex. In other words, sex became cheap.
A Beauty To Behold
People seemed to have forgotten that a woman’s body is such an enigma.
When unveiled, it’s not just an object of arousal to a man. It creates such mind-blowing pleasures for the parties involved.
A woman’s body has an amazing ability to carry a foetus for 9 months, while manufacturing milk! Then it’s able to endure the world’s most excruciating pain to deliver another human being (sometimes more than 1). These were the very same parts of her body that can give a man pleasure!
A woman’s body is undoubtedly a beautiful creation by God that probably deserves to be treasured and admired.
Actually, the men do admire our bodies. That’s why pornography still thrives.
It’s us women who have devalued our own bodies when we allowed ourselves to dress in such a way that draws attention to our sexual parts.
We’re giving permission to people to look at us in a sexual way, instead of looking at our intelligence and values.
If for instance, I choose to wear a top with a plunging neckline to a date. Do I expect my date to go, “Wow! She’s showing me half her boobs, but it’s totally not distracting at all.”?
Sure. We can choose to believe that this isn’t our problem, and we have the freedom to wear however we please. The men should learn to reign in their lustful imaginations, right?
But who are we really trying to kid here? What kind of men are we trying to attract?
I remembered I once went on a date with a guy for ice-cream during supper time. I decided to wear something casual. So I wore a snug T-shirt with an even more snug pair of shorts. My shorts covered my entire butt, but they were still pretty short. They showed off my long, slender legs.
The first thing that my date said when he saw me was, “Whoa! You really brought out all the big guns huh!”.
After a while, I realised this guy only wanted to sleep with me. But I wasn’t interested in that.
This article is NOT meant to TELL any woman how to dress.
I’m just posing some questions for all women to ponder on...
Living in a patriarchal world, are we dressing in this manner so as to be more desirable to men? What are we really trying to achieve through this manner of dressing?
“The less you reveal the more people can wonder.” – Emma Watson
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