A Tribute
As we’ve all heard before, everything happens for a reason. Even when the devil tries to tempt us into sin, God can still turn things around for His bigger purposes.
My parents are not Christians. They got a divorce when I was only about 2 years old, with my mum getting full custody of me, their only child. It wasn’t my mum’s choice as she still loved my dad. A few years after the divorce, mum had a bad fall as she was trying to catch a bus while running down a flight of stairs. The doctors in the hospital told her that 2 of her vertebrae were fractured and she may never be able to walk again.
My dad heard about the accident and went to visit her the next day. When mum saw him, she was hopeful and thought he might want to come back to us. When she asked, he said he wasn’t. So she told him about what the doctors told her and asked if he would take care of me if she’s not able to. He told her he couldn’t as he’d remarried and had a new family. He told her she could ask her elder brother instead.
When my uncle went to visit her a few hours later, she told him about her predicament and also asked the same question. My uncle also told her he couldn’t as he didn’t think his wife would like this idea, and told her he’s sure their parents (my grandparents) would be willing to take me in.
Apparently, the prospect of letting her parents take care of me was scarier than leaving me with my dad. I understood why. Mum seemed to believe that my grandmother had no love for anyone else but herself.
That night, as the reality hit her, mum willed herself to sit up in her hospital bed, despite her doctors telling her that wouldn’t even be possible due to her condition. When the medical staff saw her sitting up in bed the next morning, they were all astounded. They discharged her from the hospital the next day with a neck brace. While she recuperated alone, she paid my nanny extra to let me stay with her for about a month until she was well enough to bring me home.
Growing up, mum would always relate this incident to her friends and gave credit to her strong maternal love and willpower to protect me that gave her the strength to overcome her dire condition. The truth is, getting herself out of the hospital was only the beginning of her struggle as a single mother in a time when a divorced woman is seen as shameful in the Asian culture. She had to live with this social stigma while physically trying to make ends meet for the both of us. She wasn’t a perfect mum and she had her own emotional struggles with simply wanting to be loved and taken care of by a man. She did the best she could given the limited resources, in a time before the popularity of counsellors, single-mother support groups and self-awareness courses.
Most of you might begin to think that this post was written as a tribute to my mum. I thought so too. Until God opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective of this part of mum’s life. He reminded me that I was ‘knit together in my mother’s womb’ (Psalm 139:13), which meant that He had already chosen me before I was born. Mum might not be a Christian, but that won’t stop Him from healing her from that hospital bed in order to protect me. Then it dawned on me that the true credit goes to my Abba Father, the ultimate Healer! I cannot imagine who I would’ve become if I had to live with my dad’s new wife and family, or my grandparents. I would’ve had a very different life experience. Would I have known and loved God the way I do now?
One thing I do know is this: I had my fair share of heartbreaks, disappointments and tears, but I still wouldn’t change anything from my past. I just thank God that He found me before I completely ruined myself! Praise the Lord!